The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead is more than a popular television series about the zombie apocalypse; it’s also the state of affairs for far too many men in modern society. We don’t get to choose when our life ends. But we do get to choose when we stop living. As William Wallace told us, “every man dies; not every man truly lives”. And of those that do, too many of them stop living long before they die.

I remember a conversation with my dad seven or eight years ago. All of my kids had been born at that point, and I was telling him that I just wanted to live long enough to see them get married. He stopped me mid-sentence and told me “It will never be enough. You’ll always want to see more. No matter how long you live, you’ll always want more.”

“It will never be enough. You’ll always want to see more. No matter how long you live, you’ll always want more.”

That statement grabbed my attention because it rung true. Most of us are never content with anything; we always want more. Better food, better looks, a bigger house, a nicer car, etc. In fact, my mode of operation when purchasing anything seems to be to figure out what I can afford, then shop for something just a bit above that range.

I suspect we’ll operate similarly when it comes to death. In the midst of a pandemic in which we’re receiving regular updates and projections about death totals, it’s appropriate to consider our own mortality. Because, as I’ve written before, that’s one of the things in life that we simply cannot control.

For most of us, it will come too soon for our liking. As recently deceased country star Joe Diffie put it, “Lord I wanna go to heaven, but I don’t want to go tonight.” History, both popular and personal, is replete with examples of those lost too young, gone before their work was finished. ESPN star Marty Smith penned a song about this fact, titled “Out Like That“. Check out the lyrics, found in his excellent book, Never Settle:

Jesse James deserved to face that gun, Number 3 deserved one more race won, And those towers in New York deserved to stand

Cobain deserved one last show, Lane Frost deserved one last go, And I deserved one last day, With my ol’ man

Some leave us way too early, Leave in a flash, Leave their mark on this world, And then leave us way too fast

They leave us wonderin’ what mighta been, Thinkin’ damn was that a blast, And why the hell did they have to go, Out like that

Dr. King deserved to live his dream, Pawpaw deserved to reach Normandy, Those kids at Sandy Hook, Deserved to grow

Lady Di deserved to see her hair turn gray, For that matter so’d JFK, And the Challenger deserved, To come back home

I deserve to see my children grow, They deserve to see their dad grow old, I deserve to walk my girls Down the aisle

My wife deserves my everything, My life deserves my every dream, So I pray to my Lord I’ll be around a while

Some leave us way too early, Leave in a flash, Leave their mark on this world, And then leave us way too fast

They leave us wonderin’ what mighta been, Thinkin’ damn was that a blast, And why the hell did they have to go, Out like that”

So, remember, in these days of quarantines and isolation, that death will come in an instant, perhaps when you least expect it. We can’t control when it comes. But we can control what death finds when it comes for us. We can make sure that the years of our life are spent actually living. We can make sure that we leave a legacy that inspires those we leave behind. We can make sure we’re not The Walking Dead.

I never met my paternal grandfather. He died on January 3, 1974, just five days before I was born. But I’ve felt his presence throughout my life because it has lived on in those he left behind. He has seemed as a giant to me because of the way others spoke about him. My father, my grandmother, my cousins, my uncle and great uncle, and my grandfather’s friends. They spoke of him often, and always fondly and with respect.

How will people speak of you when you’re gone? Actually, back up, the better question is “Will people speak of you when you’re gone?”

How will people speak of you when you’re gone? Actually, back up, the better question is “Will people speak of you when you’re gone?” Will you be missed? Why? What are you providing to those around you that will be missed?

On that day that death comes for you, what will it find? Will it find a man who spent the last decade of his life coasting? Will it find a man who set up his family and home life to maximize his own comfort? Or will it find a man who is living, who is pushing forward to be the best version of himself in order to make things better for everyone around him?

If you’re like most people, you have some extra time on your hands right now. It would be worthwhile to consider these questions.

• Have you been coasting through life?
• Have you been the man you should be?
• Have you been the man you want to be?
• Have you been the father you want to be?
• The friend?
• The boss?
• The employee?

You can’t control when death comes. You can control what you leave behind. And what you leave behind is directly correlated to how you spend your living years. Spend them wisely. Spend them building something bigger than your own comfort and your own kingdom. Build something that lasts. That’s the man’s life. Now’s a great time to get started on it. Godspeed.

Because men everywhere need encouragement and direction, our message needs to be spread far and wide. I’d really appreciate it if you’d use the buttons below to share this article on social media. Together, we can help men find a better life experience. When men thrive, families and communities thrive. I hope you’ll join me. Godspeed.