Most males in our society are looking for ways to become a man. There was a time when their path was clear. It is less clear today than ever. In his 2016 book, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, author Sebastian Junger posed the question “How does one become a man in a world that doesn’t require courage?” Junger recognized that (1) exhibiting courage is one of the way that manhood is demonstrated and (2) society no longer requires men to exhibit courage in order to survive. Because courage is a Masculine Virtue, a value that is fundamental to man’s existence and self-concept, men are left confused on how to be a man. This post is an attempt to answer Junger’s question.[Read more…] about 30 Ways to Become a Man in a World that Doesn't Require Courage
The cure for your turmoil is to get your life right. I see questions from guys all the time about how to have more confidence, how to improve their relationships, how to escape depression, how to control their anger, etc. In almost every case, the answer lies in getting their lives in order. I explain more in this video.
In the military, a mission is a smaller subset of a larger overall purpose. While the purpose in Iraq may have been to overthrow Saddam, defeat the Iraqi army, and rid individual areas of insurgents so that a democratic government could be instituted and thrive, that plan was carried out via thousands of coordinated missions. So, in the process of finding our next mission, we must be ever mindful of the larger purpose, calling, or vision for our lives, so that we can ensure that each particular mission contributes to that purpose. Don’t get hung up on particular terminology here, just understand the difference between the overarching plan/goal/vision/purpose/mission and the smaller missions that are used to achieve the larger one. For ease of use, I’m going to refer to the overarching plan/goal/vision/mission as one’s “purpose” and the smaller ones as the “mission”. But these aren’t gospel, so feel free to think of them in your own way. [Read more…] about Identifying Your Next Mission, Part I: Bringing Back Physicality
Manhood and The Hero’s Journey is currently an e-book that examines why men are discontent, restless, disillusioned, depressed, anxious, and often suicidal. Below is the first chapter. For more information and to purchase a copy, click here.
Chapter One: The Walking Dead
“The life we’d planned on living seems a thousand miles away, and there’s no way to get there from here.”
In 1999, Monster.com created a clever Super Bowl ad featuring kids talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. The cleverness of the ad was that, instead of having the kids talk about how they aspired to do great things, they declared their dreams to “file all day”, to “claw [their] way up through middle management”, to “be a Yes man”, and to “be replaced on a whim”. The ad was brilliant because it highlighted the truth that no one ever starts out hoping to be average. Each of us had dreams that involved greatness. Unfortunately, for too many, by the time we reach the middle of our lives, those dreams are long gone. They’re largely dead, covered up by years of fear, procrastination, and of trying to survive the onslaught of life. While we’ve heard that “life begins at 40”, we’re not optimistic that our dreams will ever become reality. [Read more…] about Excerpt: Manhood and The Hero’s Journey