It’s almost Christmas, and I have a challenge for you fathers, young and old: speak your love to your children. By nature, most men are less willing to communicate what’s in our hearts for other people. Our inclination is to show you how we feel about you. And that mode of operation is wonderful. It’s how things get done. It’s why we work, create income, provide food and shelter, and protect against harm – those are all the results of love in action.[Read more…] about A Christmas Challenge for Fathers: Speak Your Love
In last week’s post, I talked about five pitfalls that will derail our parenting efforts and how we need to know our ultimate goal, our end game, for our kids. When we know our end game, we can reverse engineer the process of getting there. My ultimate goal with my kids is for them to have lives of deep contentment where they add value to the world. As I’ve written repeatedly (see here and here and here), in order for men to have deep levels of contentment with their, we must live in accordance with their nature as men. Our nature as men leads us to esteem strength, courage, productivity, and honor. Because we esteem these things internally (perhaps even subconsciously), we must develop them in order to have a deep level of contentment with ourselves as men. Men who are weak, timid, fearful, cowardly, unproductive, incapable, or isolated will never experience deep fulfillment with their lives and will never deliver their potential value to the world.
What’s more, even men who are strong, courageous, skillful, and surrounded by other men will still feel a bit restless until they employ these virtues and relationships in pursuit of a purpose that is meaningful and larger than their well-being. It’s not enough for a man to be capable and connected, he needs a worthy mission. That gives us some clue on how to raise our boys, on what we should pursue and what we should avoid. So, here are five things that all fathers of boys need to do. [Read more…] about Boys to Men: Five Rules for Raising Sons
Let’s get this straight up front: parenting is not easy. There is no road map that lays out every step to take to lead your children to successful adulthood. There are plenty of judgment calls. Life is ever-changing, full of seasons for us, our spouse, and our kids. What’s more, our kids are individuals with their own thoughts, interests, and temperaments, and personalities. And even during those times when we seems to have things under control, life throws a curve ball. As a result, most fathers spend a lot of time wondering if they’re doing a good job raising their children. Next week, I’m going talk about raising sons in particular. Today, I’m going to look at five temptations that will derail our parenting. [Read more…] about Five Pitfalls of Parenting
We all like to think that we’re killing this parenting thing, that we’re setting high standards for our kids. While setting high standards is great, it carries a temptation that we’ll start viewing ourselves only as the one who sets standards, gives instructions, and holds other people accountable, rather than someone who holds himself accountable to receiving instruction and meeting high standards. We become hypocritical as men and as leaders when we are more demanding of others than we are of ourselves. Check the video for a further breakdown:
Almost nothing changes a man’s life like becoming a father. Not marriage. Not a new job. Not individual achievements and accomplishments. All of those things impact us and change our lives, but they don’t compare to becoming a father. Until that moment, our lives are centered on pursuing our own interests. But then we meet that little one: that little boy that we’d always dreamed of having or that little girl that instantly melts our heart. In that moment, men walk through a door from which we can never return. Our hearts have been captured, never to be the same again.
As a result, our focus in life changes. Our previous goals and interests suddenly become smaller, less important. Life now becomes about caring for and supporting that child that owns our heart. It’s both beautiful and dangerous. [Read more…] about The Best Fathers