Most males in our society are looking for ways to become a man. There was a time when their path was clear. It is less clear today than ever. In his 2016 book, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, author Sebastian Junger posed the question “How does one become a man in a world that doesn’t require courage?” Junger recognized that (1) exhibiting courage is one of the way that manhood is demonstrated and (2) society no longer requires men to exhibit courage in order to survive. Because courage is a Masculine Virtue, a value that is fundamental to man’s existence and self-concept, men are left confused on how to be a man. This post is an attempt to answer Junger’s question.[Read more…] about 30 Ways to Become a Man in a World that Doesn't Require Courage
One of the cool things about the Internet is that it allows us to connect with so many people that otherwise we would not have known. We learn new ideas, see new perspectives, and are introduced to new personalities that we would never have encountered otherwise. There is now a Facebook group, Twitter feed, or message board for any and every interest and type of person. Without much trouble, we can all connect online with people who share our worldview and our values. Personally, I love interacting with people on social media to discuss ideas. In fact, if we haven’t connected on Twitter and/or Facebook, let’s change that. These sites are fantastic places to initiate relationships. But the poison is in often in the dose. [Read more…] about Internet Friends
Have you ever met someone who didn’t think they were busy? Go ahead, try to find someone who’s not “busy”; it’s damn near impossible. From the college students having to study for the first time to the twenty-somethings in their first jobs, from the 40-year-olds with their multiple kids to the retirees trying out a second career, babysitting grandchildren, or traveling – everyone thinks they’re busy. And while this may be more perception than reality, it’s the perception that matters when it comes to building relationships and a creating good life experiences. [Read more…] about Too Damn Busy
My blog post last week was a discussion of how hardship and crisis bring often bring about a better life experience for men. It’s not because men enjoy damage and loss, but because crises force them out of isolation and into relationships out of sheer necessity. They can no longer survive on their own, so they’re forced to connect with others. And they’re almost always happier as a result, despite the hardship.
A few days later, as if on cue, we saw Hurricane Harvey drop over 50 inches of rain, more than 24.5 trillion gallons of water, on Texas and Louisiana. Houston was the most hard-hit area, with over 30 people dead, over 30,000 homes destroyed, and tens of thousands more without power. The images are almost unbelievable. Interstates were covered with water to the point that they had whitecaps. Entire neighborhoods were underwater. A chemical plant exploded. Shelters were packed. Both the breadth and depth of the losses were catastrophic. Still, I expect that many men will experience levels of satisfaction and contentment that they’ve never seen before, for three reasons. [Read more…] about Three Reasons Hurricane Harvey Will Help Men Thrive
Men are meant to live in a tribe. Why is it that veterans in non-combat zones or who saw very little danger often experience the worst bouts of PTSD? Why do soldiers often miss war? What causes survivors of war-torn cities or natural disasters to look back wistfully to those days? Why is it that suicide rates and mental health issues decrease during times of crisis? These are the questions addressed by Sebastian Junger in his 2016 book, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, and they have significant implications for improving our lives as men.